Halloween is my favorite day to celebrate. As usual, we handed out about 400 treats, the small open fire in the front yard kept the old legs warm and a bottle of wine warmed up the rest of me. The children and even some adults wearing their scary costumes were making their traditional rounds and it was a great Halloween night. But as the contents of the wine bottle seemed to somehow disappear, I was reminded of my Catholic roots and how the celebration of Halloween coincides with All Saints Day and All Souls Day.
The festive ghosts on Halloween originated with the Druids living in the United Kingdom and France more than 2,000 years ago. They celebrated their new year on the eve of Nov. 1. It officially ended summer and completed the gathering of their harvest. Because it was the beginning of their long, dark, cold nights it was also associated with death. On that eerie night, ghosts crossed the boundary between the living and the dead. They demanded a small part of the harvest as a gift or bribe in exchange for a successful crop the following year. Today, we propitiate the bad, little goblins in the neighborhood with a treat so they won’t steal the stereos from our cars.
The Catholics copied the theme of the Druids and established All Saints Day. Officially, it was called the Solemnity of All Saints. It was also known as All Hallows or Hallowmas. The holy day is also celebrated on Nov. 1, honoring their saints, whether they be known or unknown. It doesn’t matter. I don’t know any saints. Well, maybe just one: Sister Catharine.
Sister Catharine was my fourth grade teacher. I am left-handed and in those days if you used your left hand to write the nuns believed you were possessed by the devil, preventing you from ever entering heaven. Starting in first grade, every time I wrote with my left hand they cracked my knuckles with the edge of the ruler and made me use my right hand. By the time I was in fourth grade, I couldn’t write with either hand. One day, Sister Catharine whacked me so hard she could have convinced me she was a saint or the virgin Mary reincarnate. I never did learn how to write with my right hand. But after a few years we became good friends.
The Catholics celebrate All Saints Day with a high requiem mass. Sister Catharine taught me all the latin I needed know to become one of those angelic altar boys. I didn’t much care for what I saw going on in the sacristy, so I decided to trade my halo for a Brooklyn Dodger’s baseball cap. The great sister wouldn’t have that and I was stuck, but not for long. Serving at the All Saints requiem mass I saw my chance to escape.
It was an early 5:30 mass. All the nuns in the parish attended, the devout and daily worshipers were there, the choir sang with their early morning voices and I was ready to serve my last mass.
Midway through the ritual, the priest turned to the congregation and making the sign of the cross chanted “dominus vobiscum” (the lord be with you) and the choir responded “et cum spirtu tou” (and with thy spirit). Before the priest turned to the altar, he brought his hands together and reverently recited oramos. I responded in a calculated, clear crisp voice by saying “or andy,” referring to the radio show “Amos and Andy.” I wish I could have seen Sister Catherine’s face.
The mass continued as though nothing happened. I couldn‘t wait for my expulsion from the Catholic church and I even hoped for suspension from school. I should have known you don’t get suspended from St. Peters; you get cracked on the knuckles of both hands, write the Hail Mary, Our Father and Act of Contrition 2,000 times and clean the rectory and convent for eternity. But my altar boy career was over, thank god.
Also following Druid’s superstition of crossing the boundaries between life and death, the Catholics, instructed directly by the holy ghost, celebrate All Souls Day on Nov. 2. I suppose if you are going to believe in a ghost that’s a god, it may as well be a holy one.
I think one of the best fictional stories Plato ever wrote was his original concept of souls in the form of ghosts trapped in purgatory. Catholics took his science fiction fantasy literally. They believe the ghosts of their dead are stuck in an imaginary limbo until the living can somehow cross the boundary of the unknown; freeing their sinful human souls from a state of limbo in purgatory to sit on the right hand side of God in Heaven. Naturally, we knew it wouldn’t be on the left side. So much for superstition.
I hope you all had a great Halloween and didn’t encounter any ghosts of Catholicism or Sister Cathrine on their maiden voyage to Heaven – especially if you’re left handed.
